


But I won’t be losing my way, no

by shopfront



Category: Good Girls Revolt (TV)
Genre: Domestic, F/F, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Getting Together, Living Together, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28134576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shopfront/pseuds/shopfront
Summary: Jane has been trying and failing to ask Cindy an important question.
Relationships: Cindy Reston/Jane Hollander
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	But I won’t be losing my way, no

**Author's Note:**

  * For [speakingwosound (sev313)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sev313/gifts).



> Title credit: from _Long As I Can See The Light_ by Creedence Clearwater Revival

“Jane!” Cindy exclaimed as soon as she walked in the door. “Are you cooking?”

Jane shrugged as she continued poking cautiously at the saucepan, only pausing long enough to throw a sunnily reassuring smile Cindy’s way when she stuck her head in from the hall. “Not really! I know it was your turn to pick up dinner tonight but Naomi told me about this new place that does great meals to go.”

Cindy cocked her head at Jane for a moment, eyes narrowed, before she retreated back to their tiny entranceway. “What’s the occasion?” she called as she hung up her coat and put her things away.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jane insisted blithely as she started to plate it up. “I just wanted to talk but let’s do that after we eat. This is already warmed through.”

“What’s not to love about neither of us having to cook,” Cindy replied with a laugh as she re-appeared.

Immediately she clocked the open bottle of wine Jane had left waiting beside the cutlery and napkins for dinner. Heading straight for it, she filled the two glasses sitting alongside and took a long sip from one. Her eyes were still narrowed suspiciously when Jane emerged from the kitchen with their food.

“Tell me about your day,” Jane tried to prompt her, pretending she hadn’t noticed anything amiss as they got settled.

“Oh, I just spent it at the library working on my manuscript like I was planning,” Cindy finally replied when Jane knocked their legs gently together underneath the table to encourage her.

She paused just long enough to finish chewing and reached across to squeeze Jane’s hand in her usual quiet way of saying thanks. The squeeze lingered longer than it normally did and Jane ducked her head, cheeks heating pleasantly, as Cindy picked up her fork with her other hand instead to continue eating.

“I was thinking about what my editor said at our last meeting so I took one last pass through the catalogue. You wouldn’t believe what I found hidden away under-”

Unable to stop herself grinning when Cindy began to lose herself in recounting her research adventures and splattered sauce on the floor with her waving fork, Jane hid her smile in her food as she listened intently and occasionally interjected.

“Then she had the nerve to try and snatch the book out of my hand! I mean, can you imagine? I told her ‘this is a _public_ library’ and that she couldn’t just act like it was her private collection! I found that book first and I still needed it,” Cindy recounted indignantly as she finished her last bite of dinner, barely pausing to swallow before she changed the subject. “That was delicious. Now, what did you want to talk about?”

Jane took a deep breath as she set down her wine. “I wanted to speak with you about my move to Connecticut,” she said. As she spoke she dropped a hand to the napkin in her lap so she could fidget with something out of sight. The seam on the fine linen - one of the many little holdovers from where she’d lived before that still dotted their home - didn’t scrunch very satisfyingly beneath her fingers but she twisted it viciously anyway.

When she forced her attention back up, she realised Cindy was looking at her with confusion and a little alarm. “Has something happened?” she asked, tightening her grip on Jane’s other hand. “Do you need to move sooner than we’d planned for? Oh, Jane, I wish you’d said something. Not that it’s a problem! That fellowship is so perfect for you. It’s just that I’d have started looking for a new apartment already and-”

“Cindy,” Jane tried to interrupt. “Cindy! I’m not moving for half a year. Nothing’s changed about the date, I promise, only… well.”

Her words deserted her utterly as butterflies began to dance in her belly. The furrow between Cindy’s brows only deepened as she returned Jane's stare, but she waited patiently as Jane screwed up her courage.

“Oh, gosh,” Jane said after a moment, touching her warming cheeks as she tried to force a lighthearted laugh. It only made Cindy frown harder. “I suppose I wanted to ask you if you’d ever thought about coming with me to Connecticut.”

“To… visit?” Cindy asked slowly.

“To live,” Jane said with a little nod to herself. There, she’d done it; she’d ripped off the bandaid and asked. Lifting her chin a little, she looked Cindy straight in the eye and tried to convey how she was feeling with her expression. She’d been thinking long and hard about this and Jane wanted her to know how seriously she was taking all of it. “And I remembered that you were thinking of perhaps moving somewhere less expensive than the city so you could focus exclusively on your second book once your editor is done with this one.”

The frown disappeared from Cindy’s face. “I don’t know whether living near Yale would be as cheap as what I had in mind,” she said with an incredulous giggle. She wasbeginning to look thoughtful though and absentmindedly picked up her glass, just letting it loll from side to side in the cradle of her fingers as she continued to watch Jane.

“It could be,” Jane said eagerly, ignoring the clatter their plates made as she bumped them together when she leant forward across the table. “I expect that I’ll have some extra money from the fellowship to put towards my living expenses anyway and I thought we could get a smaller place. Then you could write during the day while I’m in class or I’m sure I could convince someone to give you permission to use the University libraries as well!”

“Smaller? Jane, I don’t think that’s possible.” Cindy replied incredulously but she had finally started to smile and Jane was heartened by that.

It was true, their apartment was already very small. Just two postage stamp sized bedrooms and barely enough room in the kitchen or living room to hold both of them as well as their possessions, but it was all theirs. To even her own surprise, Jane had never found herself wanting to change so much as one milimetre of it. Not even their ridiculous little dining table that they’d only just barely managed to wedge in beside their couch, and which some days barely managed to hold both of them without a semi-fatal clashing of limbs.

She refused to let herself wimp out or drop Cindy's gaze, holding on desperately to how much she’d grown to love the home they’d made together as she replied, “it could be possible if we only needed one bedroom.”

Cindy’s hand flexed momentarily around hers. Her lips parted gently, then - just as Jane’s heart had started to leap with hope - she pulled away entirely and started fussing with the table.

“You want a roommate for Yale,” she said with a distracted shake of her head as she stood up.

“It certainly can’t be any worse than those few weeks we were both spent staying with Patti in that dinky little place without any walls,” Jane said, giving into the nervous laughter still lurking on her tongue as all of her hope sank again.

Cindy shot her a mock stern look as she gathered up their plates. “Oh stop, it wasn’t that bad. I thought it was charming.”

Jane snorted indelicately. “It wasn’t quite so charming when one of us was working late and woke the other two up coming home.”

“Well, no,” Cindy conceded with visible reluctance. “But it was still fun! All of us girls together like we were having a really long sleepover. I never really wanted it to end.”

“Patti kicked me on her way in one night!” Jane cried, jaw dropping in outrage.

Cindy was still chuckling when she scrapped the plates and placed them in the sink. Jane watched through the doorway as she banged around pointlessly in there for a few minutes, before emerging again and leaning against doorframe with crossed arms.

“ _Do_ you just want a roommate?” she asked, her gaze suddenly equally direct

Jane swallowed hard but didn’t look away. “I want you. However I can have you.”

Cindy licked her lips and continued waiting, her stare unfaltering.

“We still have six months here. I thought perhaps if you weren’t sure then we could go on dates and… and, well, see how it goes I suppose,” Jane said more quietly.

“Dates,” Cindy echoed equally quietly. “That sounds nice.”

Jane couldn’t help it, Cindy hadn't really answered her yet but she was already starting to grin. “Yeah?”

A blush spread across Cindy’s cheeks as she nodded and ducked her head. "Yeah."

On her feet before she’d realised she was moving, Jane crossed their tiny living room in two strides and tipped Cindy’s chin back up. “Don’t hide from me,” she murmured. “I want to know how you feel about me... because I have a great many feelings for you, Cindy.”

“It’s just a lot,” Cindy said, adjusting her glasses. Giving into temptation, Jane slid her hand up to Cindy’s cheek in a tentative caress and Cindy’s moved to press it close, tilting her face into Jane's palm. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time.”

The butterflies that were still tap-dancing away inside her ruthlessly finally began to calm as Jane took that in. “You never said anything,” she finally replied a little breathlessly.

“Neither did you,” Cindy pointed out, evidently feeling cheeky again as she reached for Jane’s waist. The care she took with the placement of her hands gave her away though, even as she greedily clutched at Jane and anchored her fingers in the fabric of her dress like she was worried Jane might suddenly disappear at any moment. “I thought it might make it easier to watch you leave.”

Jane wrapped her arms around Cindy as she pulled her into a hard kiss, overcome with the urgent desire to reassure her with more than just hands and words. “I don’t want to leave without you,” she admitted when they pulled apart. "It's not that I'm not excited about this fellowship, because I am, but it wouldn't be the same anymore to do it without you there."

“Then you won’t,” Cindy replied with determined nod and Jane absolutely had to kiss her again for that.

They both laughed as they tried to kiss and smile at the same time with varying levels of success and Jane was suddenly overcome with gratitude. For Cindy, and for them and everything they’d become to each other over the years.

"I can't believe it took me so long to ask," she admitted with a sheepish laugh and Cindy, also still laughing, shushed her with another kiss.


End file.
